i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize