she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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