Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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