Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
