our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
