i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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