He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
North Korea, Best Korea!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize