this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
