found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
