i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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