i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
