After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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