Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
