i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
