I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
