Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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