is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
