i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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