i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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