My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
