yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
