don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i can't believe i had my finger in that
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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