Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
