Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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