So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
