Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
