Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
