The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
