No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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