some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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