there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
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That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
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This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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