im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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