I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
