Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
