if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Everyone says I win the strip club
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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