i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
