1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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