This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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