I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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