is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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