Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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