Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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