I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
