Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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