well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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