Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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