before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
