found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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