I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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