Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
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