She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
