The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
