Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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