I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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