I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
