And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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